Jurassic World Review

What I liked: Dinosaurs! They are big, they are toothy, they are destructive., they are aquatic, they are-somehow despite having eaten countless people in the last 3 movies-in a fully functional amusement park. This park is fancy it has gift shops and giant hamster balls. I’m not really sure that the hamster balls are a good plan especially when they don’t have a track or a remote shut off or dinosaur proximity sensors or anything. I liked the mososaur it reminded me of Riven always jumping out and eating things.The music was back with the same beautiful themes with elaborated updated bits.

What I didn’t: I have serious misgivings about whoever authorised this park. Clearly they never watched the first three movies and on top of that one of their main sponsors is the army. And yet they are somehow surprised that someone is making evil weaponized dinosaurs. Who even thinks that dinosaurs need to be weaponized? Did they even see the other movies, Dinosaurs a giant natural weapons. Also who thinks that walking around with giant things that can eat you is a good idea, clearly they want to eat you. Yes people have pet lions tigers and bears but we all know how that ends (Siegfried and Roy). I also have some major concerns about the animal enclosures not only are they clearly ineffective at keeping the creatures in but they are blatantly too small for the animal load. You can’t keep four velociraptors in a pen the size of my apartment. You can’t keep a 40 foot T-rex in an enclosure the size of a football field and you can’t keep 10,000 pterodactyls in a little aviary. They also really should have had something akin to a panic room to put all the guests in for emergencies, having everyone hide in flimsy gift shops doesn’t cut it, raptors can open doors. I don’t know the purpose of the security guards, they did exactly nothing besides get eaten. Dinosaurs don’t team up. Nope. while this was essentially a remake the characters and overall moral fell far short of the original. The two paleontologists are replaced by a business woman in heels and a motorcycling whatever (who also tries to fill the role of our entertaining mathematician). Instead of telling us that nature finds a way and we shouldn’t try to control it, we are informed that genetic engineering is bad in the hands of the army and we can totally control all of normal nature from raptors and T-rexs to waterfalls.

Who should watch this? People who love dinosaurs, people who should love dinosaurs.

Would I watch it again? It was fun once but I will watch the original again and again.