Terrible Plan! Movie Reviews

What I liked: Liked is definitely the wrong word for it but the scenes of the sinking of the Titanic were masterful. They were technologically impressive, apparently remarkably accurate, and emotionally gripping. The variety of ways in which different people dealt with a completely hopeless situation was both touching and thought provoking. Especially beautiful was the string quartet. In isolation from the love story, the sinking of the Titanic is a tragic reminder of the cost of hubris and the necessity of regulating emergency procedures and capacities. It carries similar gravitas as a war film. At the 25th anniversary of the film, I can appreciate how Titanic has impacted movies made later.  What I didn't: So here's the thing. I feel very bad for you if you died in the sinking of the Titanic. I feel less bad for you if you managed to get on a lifeboat on the Titanic and then decided to get off. I question all of your decision making and priorities if you decide to get off a...

  What I liked: I liked the crystal trees and the creepy people plants. The multi colored lichen and flowers were cool too. I liked how disorienting the loss of time and flashbacks were, they did a good job of maintaining the disquiet and suspense. I liked that they remembered that mutation and evolution has no goal, it's just a thing that happens with all kinds of side effects. I liked their little boat trip in giant crocodile infested swamp. I'm not sure if I loved the silver skin suit but I can't deny that it was interesting.  What I didn't: The heroes are all scientists who go on a mission to find out what is going on inside the "shimmer". For being all scientists they don't draw very well on their test one variable at a time training. If nothing has ever come out of the shimmer, try sticking a stick in and see if you can pull it out. Step inside with a harness on so if you don't come back they can try and pull you back. Walk in a little ways and t...

What I liked: Like the first one, the graphics in this movie are incredible. As one would expect from a movie called the Way of Water, there is a lot of water. The splashes, ripples, and movement in the water are all faultless. When you stop to remember that all of it is CG it's pretty staggering. I also liked that most of the 3D added depth to the film rather than sending 3D effects flying at your face. Our favorite blue family relocates to an island village so we get to meet sea creatures and the island clans. I liked that the sea people had rudder tails and broad hands. And I liked their springy walkways between their houses. Also like the first one, the animals were cool. I liked the plesiosaurs, the shark thing, and the tiny glowy jellyfish things. I really liked the underwater fairie wings. In addition to cool creatures we get cool robots. I  liked the crab robots but am unclear on why they were crabs other than that crabs make cool robots. The plot was better than the first ...

What I liked: The premise is absurd. A complete dumpster fire of a person from New York teams up with a Texan red neck to avenge the death of the sister. ... by making a podcast. If that approach to revenge is not the most terrible revenge plan I'm not sure what is. Oh wait, it's Dracula kidnapping a historian to catalog his personal book collection, but that is off topic. Along they way the character gets wildly out of his depth and does things that are definitely bad plans. Like meet with a cartel leader alone in a shed, drive a Prius, visit a music producer, more than once, and give an off the cuff eulogy. Certainly at the beginning it carries the awkward discomfort of The Office but it quickly expands to explosions and the conviction to a podcast found only among the certain portion of the coffee shop population. I thought they did a good job of picking fun at both the rural Texans and the big city New Yorkers. I think they really nailed the "intellectual" bros in...

What I liked: The constantly hearing everyone's thoughts thing was cool, and they used it well both to move the story and to make jokes. Space western is an underused genre, always good to have a new addition. Tom Holland, as always makes a pretty delightful dorky teenager. Also the orange overalls, way to subvert my expectations of space fashion. What I didn't: Cool title, but I don't understand what it means. What was even the point of the aliens? What happened to the aliens? Surely, in a massive planet colonization there is some form of judicial system that transcends settlements. It seems like that would have been a very good thing to make use of. It also seems like moving would have been a good idea, given that there were in fact many other available places to move. I refuse to believe that no one noticed a spaceship crashing. That would be really bright and really loud. Someone must have seen something. A third alternative I could suggest is that he could go with her,...

What I liked: For too long dinosaurs have been restricted to only a very specific subgenre of films. Jurassic World: Dominion seeks to rectify the situation by introducing dinosaurs into all types of film at once. Spy thriller? We have assassin dinosaurs and excessive, unnecessary globe hopping. Family drama? I give you the quaint ranch complete with dinos dozing in the logging encampment and neighbor dinosaurs. Heist? We have dino smuggling, dinosaur black market, and breaking into secret dinosaur labs. Monster Movie" We've got giant dinosaurs squaring off to battle. Natural disaster? It's a long story but we've got dinosaurs being pelted with flaming duck sized grasshoppers and world famine, again related to the duck sized grasshoppers. No, I know that doesn't sound like a natural disaster but trust me. Romance? There are kisses. Nature documentary? Beautiful shots of dinosaurs living peacefully with non-dinosaur animals. It's like the creative team sat down ...

What I liked: There were monsters. The monsters smashed things. Lots of things. The smash building things, and boat things, and airplane things, and tunnel things so we have all areas of the planet covered. The monsters smashed each other. There were bright colorful lights and music. There was no singing to summon a giant moth. So pretty much this is everything you have ever wanted in a monster movie.  What I didn't: I feel that when developing a giant mechanical monster there are a few things to consider. First, lab placement. I would recommend that R&D for the giant mechanical monster not be located in major cities with large populations like, for example, Hong Kong. This is important for several reasons 1) available realestate. You will need a very large hanger to build a robot the size of, say Godzilla, and your budget will cover much more if you choose somewhere in the middle of nowhere where land prices are much lower. 2) If, each time you test your giant robot monster, y...

What I liked: There was a lot to like about this movie, mostly owing to the fact that it starred a lot of dinosaurs. I mean we got dinosaurs and a volcano, what else could you want in life? I liked the variety of dinosaurs that we got to see. There was the dinosaur with a nose the perfect size to fit in a fire escape. There was the dinosaur that seemed to be living in a sealed tunnel. There was the dinosaur that plays possum and the dinosaur that is brand new and some dinosaurs from Australia. I really liked the scene with the dinosaurs running from the volcano. I kind of wish this was the whole movie. The lava was fast, the dinosaurs were fast, and shockingly the people were just as fast. I was particularly impressed that while running from lava, the dinosaurs took the time to try to eat the people and each other. It was also fortunate that the clouds of ash did not instantly Pompeii the dinosaurs. The dinosaur evacuation was a very impressive feat. I really want to know how they got ...

What I liked: This is a solid monster movie. So if you have been looking for the next Creature from the Black Lagoon, where it takes the super fast, super perceptive, super strong monster an hour and a half to eat three people and a raccoon, look no further. This film does an excellent job of playing on stress. The best comparison I can make is to a syllabus. You know exactly what is coming and exactly how it will happen, but you have no choice but wait the entire semester for it to happen. This makes normal things, like going up and down stairs, stressful. It also makes you wish the monsters would just hurry up already. Because the monsters have highly acute hearing the main characters communicate predominantly in sign language. The actress who plays the deaf daughter is actually deaf which is pretty cool. Several parents I know will feel vindicated to learn that noisy toys are the ultimate downfall in the movie. You have been right all along. Similarly, I have spent enough time on ...

-submitted by Mrs. Winston What I liked: Massive destruction. There's no logical reason you'd have to cause ice storms in hot places and tidal waves in dry places, but it looked pretty awesome. For once, the bad guy's plan was pretty good. I kept trying to poke holes in it, but there was an answer for every question I had. I'm now considering taking over the world myself with massive natural disasters. The good guys, on the other hand, seriously need to rework their plans. Why didn't it occur to them that a satellite communication might not be secure just because no one else happens to be standing in the room? Why would you put Gladiator in charge of an engineering project? Why do you need to reset the system manually? Why do they even have a self-destruct option? In the genre of disaster films, this is one of my favorites. Not quite Independence Day, but way, way above 2012. The characters were engaging, the badguys were scary, and saving of the world was a re...

What I liked: I like science and I like outerspace, clearly I liked a movie about science in outerspace. I liked the timelapse sequences of solving problems and growing stuff. I thought they did a remarkably good job conveying a plot consisting of technical questions and keeping people engaged. I liked that Matt Damon was trapped on Mars with no entertainment but disco music, which made a surprisingly good soundtrack. I liked that NASA got to be the heroes in two big movies this year. I loved that Boromir got to be in on the council of Elrond again, that was phenomenal. I wonder if they cast him specifically for that reason. I gained a new appreciation for Anderson; I never knew he had a knack for astrophysics. I guess after being driven to distraction by Sherlock he decided for a change of career and started working for NASA. Speaking of careers working for NASA I want to be whoever it was who got to drill holes in the rover, that looked like fun. I loved the mars rover, both ...

What I liked: Shawn the Sheep is a fun short kids tv show. The sheep get up to mischief and Shawn bails them out. The two fun mischiefs in this were the sheep running circles around the farmer to make him fall asleep and the farmer becoming a barber and giving everyon sheep shearing haircuts. I also thoroughly enjoyed Shawn’s cellmate in the pound. What I didn’t: Why was this a feature length film? Why? It would have been so much better as a standard 5 min episode I would give you a stretch to 20 like the llama special, which was approaching painfully long itself. Who should watch this? small children? anyone in 5-10 increments? Would I watch it again? No! No! No! But I will watch more 5 min Shawn the Sheep shorts.

What I liked: Dinosaurs! They are big, they are toothy, they are destructive., they are aquatic, they are-somehow despite having eaten countless people in the last 3 movies-in a fully functional amusement park. This park is fancy it has gift shops and giant hamster balls. I’m not really sure that the hamster balls are a good plan especially when they don’t have a track or a remote shut off or dinosaur proximity sensors or anything. I liked the mososaur it reminded me of Riven always jumping out and eating things.The music was back with the same beautiful themes with elaborated updated bits. What I didn’t: I have serious misgivings about whoever authorised this park. Clearly they never watched the first three movies and on top of that one of their main sponsors is the army. And yet they are somehow surprised that someone is making evil weaponized dinosaurs. Who even thinks that dinosaurs need to be weaponized? Did they even see the other movies, Dinosaurs a giant natural weapon...

What I liked: K-19 was made by National Geographic so falls in the very very small genre of awesome dramatized almost documentary thing. Going it to the movie I did not know the story of the submarine and so foolishly assumed that the widowmaker would be attacking other boats. Actually this boat was the embodiment of Murphy’s Law: Launched too soon, this early model nuclear sub encountered every disaster possible. Unbelievably, according to the internet nearly all of the incidents actually happened. Also surprising, it is entirely believable in contrast to the series of disasters encountered by U-574. While I was not particularly invested in any of the characters their plight was compellingly pitiful. And despite my feelings about the characters, I felt like their interactions with each other were convincing and engaging. I really liked the epilogue, the acting was better and I was impressed with the old person makeup. I thought that the acting was the best and As a submarine mo...

What I liked: The movie the kids were working on was entertaining and I was impressed with their stage makeup fake blood and all. Many of the characters seem familiar. Maybe they are just classic tropes, but I like to think that some BYU student watched this movie and thought, hm I could work with this and spun it out into Granite Flats. The plots aren’t that similar but there are elements that made me think that it could be a piece of the puzzle. What I didn’t: If we were riding along and my friend got stolen from the car by a lion, I would never assume that I could go rescue them two days later. Why would anyone assume this of a friend stolen by a monster the size of a house. This is clearly a poorly conceived plan. In the words of Muppet Treasure Island “He’s dead Jim” I am also unsatisfied with their method of selecting who they would like to rescue. Also I am unconvinced that anyone, including special aliens, could turn your standard water tower into a super selective el...

What I liked: It was pretty cool. And NASA saved the day. And the special effects were cool. And it was in outerspace. I liked the characters who went in the space ship I thought they all played their parts really well. Murph was a very cool scientist. Yay science. I liked the robots with seemingly endlessly extending appendages. I kept expecting them to go Hal, but they were actually remarkably helpful. And I now have the dream that on my way to school someday I will be able to chase down an Indian Military drone through corn fields using an truck, a mini satellite dish, and a laptop. Also the worlds that the animators got to create were pretty cool. What I didn’t: Several major concerns. 1) if the world is running out of food because of crop blights and we are launching massive science undertakings to try and fix the problem, wouldn’t it be easier to bioengineer new food than to launch a mission through a wormhole to look for planets we could colonize? Not that I’m advocating...

What I liked: the battle scenes were well done and I thought they did a good job of capturing the controversy in the book of using children to fight wars. Contrast between harrison ford and ender was also good. What I didn’t: CG was a little off. They purposefully used two kinds one for the in movie computer game and one for the movie reality. It came out the same year as Gravity and the ready comparison did not help it. The different ending of finding a new home for the buggers to live instead of becoming a speaker for the dead made it happier but also lessened the tragedy of the last battle. There were clumsy attempts to give the characters more depth, seemed to bog things down more than add thoughtful perspective into their motives. Who should watch it: Anyone looking for a fun action movie in space. Would I watch it again? Once was enough

What I liked: They did a good job of building the suspense. I expected the plot to follow a different trajectory and was surprised when it did not follow the predicted course. I liked Ryan’s devotion to his role as analyst and his interactions with his CIA colleagues. I think of the Ryan actors, this one would be number 2 (1-Red October guy, 2-this guy, 3-shadow recruit guy, 4-Harrison Ford). The head of the CIA was funny. Surprisingly, I liked the Russian president.   What I didn’t: The bad guy. I guess the let the world burn so we can rebuild a better one motivation has never really done it for me. I’m not sure how they ever get allies. The opera music. What was that about? The governments. Really if you lose a nuke no one goes looking for it? This is either a clumsy plot device or a very very disturbing reality. Who should watch it: People who like action movies. It did earn its PG13 rating though. Would I watch it again: Yes

What I liked: Exciting movie about a submarine. Lots of explosions and very intense. The action on the screen played well, I felt invested in the characters and really didn’t know what was coming next. All around a good action flick. Put me in the mood for Hunt for the Red October. Despite the similarity we are not actually fighting the russians in this movie. That was a point of some confusion in the group I watched it with. What I didn’t: I had trouble telling which scruffy sailor was which. Was that the captain who just drowned, or a buddy, or a bad guy? The body count was intensely high. I have decided I never want to be a submarine sailor. Or any kind of sailor for that matter but certainly not a submariner. Too many gruesome ways to die. Finally, much like Gravity, everything that can go wrong does go wrong. Murphy had a field day on this one. I think that every depthcharge deployed in the Atlantic theater was dropped in this movie. While fun and exciting for the duration of ...