Terrible Plan! Movie Reviews

  What I liked: I liked the crystal trees and the creepy people plants. The multi colored lichen and flowers were cool too. I liked how disorienting the loss of time and flashbacks were, they did a good job of maintaining the disquiet and suspense. I liked that they remembered that mutation and evolution has no goal, it's just a thing that happens with all kinds of side effects. I liked their little boat trip in giant crocodile infested swamp. I'm not sure if I loved the silver skin suit but I can't deny that it was interesting.  What I didn't: The heroes are all scientists who go on a mission to find out what is going on inside the "shimmer". For being all scientists they don't draw very well on their test one variable at a time training. If nothing has ever come out of the shimmer, try sticking a stick in and see if you can pull it out. Step inside with a harness on so if you don't come back they can try and pull you back. Walk in a little ways and t...

What I liked: I liked how very enthusiastic the sergeant was. And I appreciated that, remarkably, both the senior detective and the assistant were competent. It seems like usually this is a one or the other kind of pairing so I lament the partnership that inevitably formed somewhere else in the department of two incompetent officers. The story boarding was very fun and it was very clear that the director in the film had never seen nor heard anything about The Mousetrap. I liked the recurring snow shovel. For the second time in as many months the detectives were using the means, motive, opportunity chart for the suspects. Still no sign of a murderer using one though.   What I didn't: Why after you take a tumble through a cake and a pile of shellfish would you go find a replacement outfit in the costume department of the theater instead of just going back to your house? I mean I might enjoy that, you could come back to the party dressed as Henry VIII, or a demigorgon, or a tree....

What I liked: The three things you need for any murder is the means, motive, and opportunity. I was delighted that they pointed that out and even made a little chart to narrow down the suspects. If only there had also been a scene of the murderer using it as a checklist to see if they could commit the murder, then I would have be superbly happy. The mom. The mom is definitely the best character. Followed closely by the friend who is just visiting. I think we all need to acknowledge how wonderful Blanc's swim suit is. The movie set itself very firmly in 2020 for the first 20 minutes. I liked seeing all the different characters' approaches to their masks and watching them play among us. It was both a bit of a time warp and a very fast way to learn a lot about these people. I liked the caricatures of influential people and cheered for Andi's approach to opening the box. Unlike the last one, that had creepy little skulls hidden everywhere, this one had glass sculptures hidden e...

What I liked: In the words of Glad-OS "This was a triumph, I'm making a note here, huge success... for the people who are still alive." This is essentially the justification the bad guys have for their actions. It turns out it doesn't make much of a difference if it is a homicidal robot or some homicidal people singing the song to you, it still doesn't seem like a good excuse. But it does get stuck in your head, it's a very catchy tune. I like that if you invent a fantasy world you get to make up completely non-internally consistent rules for your world. What is affected by accelerated time? Living things-yes unless you're bacteria in which case no unless you are tetanus then yes again. Dead things-yes. Unless it's food or paper or clothes. Never alive things- no but also maybe yes. A single bolus dose of Magnetic waves, which are notoriously afraid of calcium carbonate.  What I didn't: So, on a completely different topic, that has nothing to do wi...

What I liked: I liked that for a feral child she was exceptionally well socialized and educated. Her art really was quite beautiful. I liked that they made it a mystery and a pretty good one. The people I went with were flabbergasted walking out of the theater. I liked the friendly couple in the store, their kindness and involvement made it much more believable that she was able to survive in the swamp/marsh all by herself. In most movies narration does not work it's just boring and a lazy, but efficient, way to tell us a lot of backstory very quickly. It worked ok here since she was talking with her lawyer.  What I didn't: Where were the crawdads? The titular character had exactly 0 screen time and was mentioned only once. What does a crawdad song sound like? Do they have like a little nightclub or something for Karaoke? The most important mystery of this movie went completely unaddressed. Much less important, in a town of 300 if the quarterback was cheating on his fiance with...

  What I liked: Much like Murder on the Orient Express, this movie was beautiful there were pristine sets with bright colors and long single shots with lots of movement. I liked that they laid some clues to help you if you are trying to solve the murder and that there was some cool blues music. The cruise looked quite luxurious, apart from the death, and I'm impressed that the company could make a profit with so few passengers in such a large ship.  What I didn't: Despite being a cruise on the Nile, there was not a single crocodile. Historically this takes place around the same time as The Jungle, but even without that expose of food processing, I hope that someone would have recognized that or is terribly unhygienic to store bodies near the ham and asparagus. Maybe the doctor or nurse could have thought of that. Poirot didn't seem to solve the mystery as much as narrate it. As with all detective stories who's the detectives. If you hear there will be one on the boat wi...

What I liked: The house. Someone comments that the guy practically lives in a clue board, which appears to be true. There are an absurd number of rooms, all of which can conveniently eavesdrop on each other, and every piece of decor reminds you that this is the location of an absurd, over the top murder mystery. My personal favorite was the multitude of crystal skulls tucked into the background (eat your heart out Indian Jones), the ridiculous knife circle thing, and the creepy pictures. Nana. We don't know how old she is. We don't know how with it she is. But we do know she is amazing. The car chase. If you have read my other reviews you know that I am a sucker for a good car chase. I like them all from Fast and Furious parachuting out of a plane to the Italian Job mini coopers in the subway. This one had great elements and unexpected elements and I thought it was great, not least of all because I was decidedly unimpressed with James Bond's driving. That the main charact...

What I liked: This is the moment we have all been waiting for. After mistakenly watching the Christopher Reeves version and a  2000's remake , I have finally watched Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window. In some ways it really delivered. Others I felt like I had seen before. I really liked the girl friend's outfits. Granted she is a model, but I thought they looked like things I would like to wear when the vintage mood strikes. The crotchety nurse was funny and delivered some pretty sarcastic lines for the 1950's.The film is based on a book "It had to be murder" but the catchier title comes up when the nurse declares that she is not an expert in rear window ethics (I figured this out myself, take that internet).  I appreciated the creative use of flash photography and, true to form, Hitchcock really shone in the exceptional development of side characters we see only briefly. I liked the makeshift dog elevator and the flowerbed misdirection. I must also credit Hitc...

What I liked: Oceans 8 actually had all the stages of a heist , no corner cutting for them, take that Solo. The crew was fun, they had funny lines, and the plan was elaborate so they really hit all the bases. The step 4 sneaky twist was less sneaky than you might hope but fairly satisfying. I liked the top off of the team to make 8. Both of them. The first chunk of the movie seemed like she would have been right at home in Catch Me if You Can.   I liked the little old ladies and the jar of Nutella. I did not have equal faith in all members of the team. Some of them were really good at their jobs but some of them, especially the designer definitely had issues. And while likely completely unnecessary and very dangerous, I liked the dramatic exit. It was fun to see everyone all done up. What I didn’t: For being a jewelry heist there was a disappointingly low amount of repelling and backflips. Pretty much all of the sneaking involved disguises and not you know jumping fences or p...

What I liked: A while ago I was on a Hitchcock kick. I accidentally ended up watching the Christopher Reeves Rear Window instead of the Hitchcock one. I decided to try to watch the Hitchcock one again, but again had trouble finding it but I did find the 2007 remake, Disturbia.  It was more exciting than the Christopher Reeves version because the chase scenes were slightly more mobile. That said the Christopher Reeves version was more suspenseful because you knew if he ever got caught he didn't have a fighting chance. I liked that this one used more updated tech and I liked the main police officer. What I didn't: This was not the Hitchcock film, strike 2 for me. Having seen two versions of this story, I am convinced that there is no way to make the premise of constantly spying on your neighbors and recording their movements not creepy. The film starts out as a teeny bopper flick. All of the characters act with all the expected exaggerated stupidity you usually find in this g...

What I liked: Inspector Poirot was very fun. I'm always a fan of Kenneth Branagh but usually I don't get to see him in what I would characterize as a comic role. I like stunning scenery. I like absurd mysteries with crazy elaborate plots that materialize out of nowhere. I love the Inspector's mustache cover. I like that the whole train only has 6 cars including the engine, this may not be the most effective money making venture. I liked how much Poirot liked Dickens. I liked that the train got derailed on a really tall trussel bridge which withstands that impact only to sustain significant damage during a fist fight. I like how incredibly dramatic the whole thing was. I  like that there are as far as I can tell no limits on Poirot's jurisdiction. What I didn't: I am concerned that Poirot did not consider the possibility that he was drugged. Early evidence in the film indicates that he is a light sleeper and as he says he would not be likely to sleep through some...

What I liked: This is a good drama with a well told mystery side. I liked thinking about what Sherlock Holmes did with his retirement, though I’m not sure that it was beekeeping. I also liked that Sherlock had spent most of his life learning that sometimes a fiction can be as good or better than a fact. This was entertaining to me since most of the rest of us spend most of our lives learning to tell whole truths instead of white lies. I was also impressed by the makeup. The movie covers what seems to be 20 years worth of memories, it did an excellent job of presenting Holmes at all these different ages, though all old, as recognizably different ages. What I didn’t: I was expecting something along the lines of Once a Spy where the main character has bouts of lucidity and lapses of senility. I think that would have been exciting and made for a very different storytelling approach. As it was Holmes’ forgetfulness filled the role of Watson, something to slow him down and make him expl...

What I liked: The movie the kids were working on was entertaining and I was impressed with their stage makeup fake blood and all. Many of the characters seem familiar. Maybe they are just classic tropes, but I like to think that some BYU student watched this movie and thought, hm I could work with this and spun it out into Granite Flats. The plots aren’t that similar but there are elements that made me think that it could be a piece of the puzzle. What I didn’t: If we were riding along and my friend got stolen from the car by a lion, I would never assume that I could go rescue them two days later. Why would anyone assume this of a friend stolen by a monster the size of a house. This is clearly a poorly conceived plan. In the words of Muppet Treasure Island “He’s dead Jim” I am also unsatisfied with their method of selecting who they would like to rescue. Also I am unconvinced that anyone, including special aliens, could turn your standard water tower into a super selective el...