Terrible Plan! Movie Reviews

What I liked: I liked how very enthusiastic the sergeant was. And I appreciated that, remarkably, both the senior detective and the assistant were competent. It seems like usually this is a one or the other kind of pairing so I lament the partnership that inevitably formed somewhere else in the department of two incompetent officers. The story boarding was very fun and it was very clear that the director in the film had never seen nor heard anything about The Mousetrap. I liked the recurring snow shovel. For the second time in as many months the detectives were using the means, motive, opportunity chart for the suspects. Still no sign of a murderer using one though.   What I didn't: Why after you take a tumble through a cake and a pile of shellfish would you go find a replacement outfit in the costume department of the theater instead of just going back to your house? I mean I might enjoy that, you could come back to the party dressed as Henry VIII, or a demigorgon, or a tree....

What I liked: The three things you need for any murder is the means, motive, and opportunity. I was delighted that they pointed that out and even made a little chart to narrow down the suspects. If only there had also been a scene of the murderer using it as a checklist to see if they could commit the murder, then I would have be superbly happy. The mom. The mom is definitely the best character. Followed closely by the friend who is just visiting. I think we all need to acknowledge how wonderful Blanc's swim suit is. The movie set itself very firmly in 2020 for the first 20 minutes. I liked seeing all the different characters' approaches to their masks and watching them play among us. It was both a bit of a time warp and a very fast way to learn a lot about these people. I liked the caricatures of influential people and cheered for Andi's approach to opening the box. Unlike the last one, that had creepy little skulls hidden everywhere, this one had glass sculptures hidden e...

What I liked: The premise is absurd. A complete dumpster fire of a person from New York teams up with a Texan red neck to avenge the death of the sister. ... by making a podcast. If that approach to revenge is not the most terrible revenge plan I'm not sure what is. Oh wait, it's Dracula kidnapping a historian to catalog his personal book collection, but that is off topic. Along they way the character gets wildly out of his depth and does things that are definitely bad plans. Like meet with a cartel leader alone in a shed, drive a Prius, visit a music producer, more than once, and give an off the cuff eulogy. Certainly at the beginning it carries the awkward discomfort of The Office but it quickly expands to explosions and the conviction to a podcast found only among the certain portion of the coffee shop population. I thought they did a good job of picking fun at both the rural Texans and the big city New Yorkers. I think they really nailed the "intellectual" bros in...

What I liked: This movie filled a hole I didn't know I had. Sort of a Jonah, how to train your dragon, Mobey Dick crossover sized hole. I want to live in a giant seashell house. I don't think the characters really thought through how great that future could have been because otherwise the movie world have ended there. I liked the crew of the inevitable. Just the right mix of swash buckling with eccentric pirate injuries. We had monster hunters, and monster vs monster fights, a sea witch, ship wrecks, giant storms and an evil conspiracy. What more could you hope for. The water animation was absolutely amazing and I really liked the forest? flock? float? of fluorescent jellyfish.  What I didn't: We need to discuss the security and the accountability of the orphanage. We spent a great deal of time on the kingdom's approach to endangered species, but of equally great, or possibly greater, importance is the lack of any form of childcare standards. I am concerned about the de...

What I liked: The opening scene was great. If you have ever wondered what watching a movie is like in my head, this is pretty much it. Where did the snakes come from? Are they your snakes? Who feeds them? I liked Harry Potter as the bad guy, the overly enthusiastic, billionaire, charcuterie loving bad guy. I liked the very intentional absurdity from the trainer, to the model's travel accessories, to the sequin jumpsuit, to the very excellent chair chase scene. This is the best chase scene where one of the characters does not leave their chair that you will see, unless Jackie Chan did one. Then that one is almost certainly better. I liked the surprising things that they did, they surprised me which I found impressive, especially in a movie like this that could have been extremely formulaic. I liked that they manage to stay just normal people (well a best selling romance author and her cover model) who are very very out of their depth for most of the movie and don't magically tra...

What I liked: The laser shield. It really shouldn't have taken them 60 years to come up with that plan. The moment Buzz realizes his elite team is not quite who he thought they were. The zap squad. The best I can tell is they are the special forces unit that does nothing besides run around yelling zap. That seems like exactly my level of military service. The tranquilizer dart. The seemingly correct use of time dilation, including "C." That Buzz was a stereotypical '50-'60s test pilot, complete with the deep distrust of computer calculated trajectories. The music accompanying Buzz's stirring speech. That Buzz and Cmd Hawthorne were just friends. The demolitions expert who was generally crotchety and disappointed to not get to blow everything up.  What I didn't: The fundamental take home message of the movie is that it is better to work with other people than to insist on doing everything yourself. The message is itself sound. However, almost every example ...

What I liked: This had all the tings that you know and love from cartoons: cute animated characters, absurd antics, physics defying movement. The human cast did a good job of interacting with the animated characters and I thought they were funny. I liked the animal tornado and Colin Jost's increasingly absurd wedding presents. The skateboard chase scene rivals  the only three other skateboard chase scenes I know, all of which are the exact same scene from the three Back to the Future movies.  What I didn't: Apparently that the original cartoons were limited to about 10 minutes was a good idea. I was pretty satisfied with the cartoon shenanigans by 10 minutes and over it by 30. The movie, however, was not over. It seems like in a movie with the overall message of there are consequences to actions and cooperation is important, there were very few long term consequences for anyone. Despite the plot, I was rooting for the wedding to be called off, I guess this is why Romcoms and I...

What I liked: Cars are pretty useful and I like to learn about them. Every time I see a fast and furious movie I learn many new things about cars that I never knew before. For example, I learned that you can mount a fighter jet engine that shoots blue flames on that back of you car remote controlled. I learned that if you drive really really fast through a mine field the mines will just blow up the car behind you and that mines have very large visible red buttons so you know if your car is about to fall on one. I learned that you can take your car bungee jumping and that if you drive at full speed off a cliff a passing jet can pick you and your car up without changing its flight trajectory. I learned that you can drive a giant electromagnet with no negative functional consequences from driving an electromagnet. I learned that there must be a specialized car rental place that carries bullet proof sports cars and tanks so that you can have the same car on multiple continents without the ...

What I liked: Gonzo and Pepe spend the night in a haunted mansion. They have run ins with singing ghosts. What more could a person want in a surprise Halloween special? I look forward to the ghost songs making it into the rather thin Halloween playlists. I must say that a mansion haunted by Muppets is substantially less menacing than one haunted by more malevolent ghosts. The ghost bride did a good job of being creepy though. I liked that Gonzo's outfit matched the doorman's. What I didn't: Old Gonzo. That should not have happened. Old Gonzo is creepy looking. Fozzie tells jokes. His jokes are always terrible. I also thought that the other Muppets' jokes were a lamer than I would have hoped. I would have been happier with the movie if it were less transparently the rebranding of the Haunted Mansion ride. Like maybe they didn't need every single element of the ride shoehorned into the movie; maybe there could be some parts of the ride that didn't appear in the mo...

 What I liked: Awkwafina. She made a great friend/sidekick. She was funny and had very relatable reactions. I liked the bus fight. You often meet interesting people on public transit, I have yet to meet a machete armed assassin, but it seems like just a matter of time honestly. I liked the mythical creatures, they were impressive and cute depending on the type. I'm not totally convinced about the moving bamboo maze, it seems cool but also like you could easily sneak past it in an airplane or hang glider or something. I think all the Avengers should go out for karaoke, it could be the new shawarma. I liked the tie in to Ironman 3, but it got a bit too silly for my by the end.  What I didn't: I have to side with Awkwafina, going into hiding and creating a new identity that is only tonally shifted from your original name is not a great way to stay hidden. Neither is using your awesome fighting skills to go viral. Also if you have a whole army of cool assassins does it really matt...

What I liked: I liked Guy. That is in fact the point but I like how happy, carefree, and wholesome he is in what is essentially Grand Theft Auto. I like what the NPCs decide to focus on as they achieve consciousness. I liked the ridiculous YouTubers getting all philosophical about Guy and how he radically changed game play. I liked that so much of the game economy was about silly skins, just like a real game, and how that completely confused the NPCs. I liked the fight between Dude and Guy and its resolution, it managed to stay very on theme. The item cameos were fun, like seeing the Portal gun, or the Fortnite piñata. I liked guy finding the med kit and building up an inventory.  What I didn't: I am not be a lawyer but I am suspicious that there maybe more efficient ways of obtaining evidence of copyright violation than playing 12 hours of a computer game every day. With that in mind I think the evidence points to the heroine enjoying the game far more than she lets on. On the top...

What I liked: I did like the ridiculous museum heist at the beginning and while the sneaking, prying, and stealing were impressive, what I was most astounded by was the extremely fast costume change. Also, if you were afraid that the puns you knew and loved from the original ride would be lost, do not despair! There are puns. Lots of puns. The jaguar fight was pretty cool, I mean who hasn't wanted to watch the Rock wrestle a jaguar? I liked the canoe elevator, impractical and surrounded by very poorly conceived attempts at redemption (I mean who came up with that and thought "yeah this is definitely a good idea"?). But the elevator was cool. I liked that the Rock gave off very Han Soloy vibes for most of the film. I like his tourist cruise and his hustles.  What I didn't: This is the story of a trip on a river, but I think that the people who told the story do not know how rivers, or maybe water in general, work. For example the dilapidated boat is going upstream towa...

We're back! Movies are back. Hooray! What I liked: I liked the fish sheep and the grandma. Uncle Ugo was unnerving but I liked when he showed up unexpectedly, imagining him living in the deep trench from Aquaman really spices him up. I liked the idea of sleeping under the fish and Luca learning to walk. The Vespa construction and turtle ramp were fun. I liked Machiavelli, something that I never really thought I would say. The idea that an Italian triathlon is swimming, biking and eating pasta is phenomenal and I hope to compete in at least one of the legs of this event.  I liked that the kids achieved their goals when they reframed their focus to helping others. The soccer game at the fountain was great. And I was glad for the voice of reason "Risking your life for a Vespa? It doesn't make any sense."   What I didn't: I wish I knew opera to place the songs better to see if there were hidden opera jokes. The only song I knew while watching was from Barber of Savill...

What I liked: The explosions are fun. The gadgets are cooky. All of the spies are surprisingly ept, breaking the rule of N=n+1 for spy movies. I thought Venice was very well represented, though I remember there being about twice as many pigeons there.  What I didn't: However, for being surprisingly good at their jobs they also are surprisingly bad, like not knowing that the target has a sports car, airplane, and submarine and not knowing the parking location for said vehicles. Also, I believe that by the end of the film IRB would mandate far far harsher penalties for our little inventor's approach to testing his gadgets. Let's just say robust testing and informed consent were a bit subpar. I did not find the bird sidekicks particularly funny. I wasn't in a theater so couldn't tell if this was me being the wrong audience or if the birds were just not funny. Finally, as far as strategies go, putting all of your high value assets in a single location is bad. Especially...

What I liked: As with the other two installments, I loved the sheep. They have much less screen time than maybe they should but this time they have little dragon costumes so that they blend in on an island that is now completely overrun with dragons. I also liked that all of the too many dragons living on the island live in enormous colorful birdhouses. It gave the island a very Caribbean/Norse fusion feeling. I like the discussion of dreams. Mostly just the statement "This is your dream maybe. Mine is less crowded and more sanitary." I feel like that is a great dream for anyone and am especially impressed that it was the dream of a perhaps less than hygienic viking. I liked the hoards of purple toad dragons and the flock of tiny glowing dragons. Dragons under black lights look really cool which it think could spark two great spin off series. One with a dragon DJ working raves and one with a dragon dance troupe. I would absolutely go see a dragon dance group perform. I liked ...

What I liked: I liked that geometry could be a superpower. I liked that the correct response to driving directly at an army of giant carnivorous ostriches is to shout "Merge! Merge!" And really that every single animal in the entire world is able to eat you. I liked the old guy who talks really slow and appreciated everyone's frustration with him talking really slow. He was really funny. The cat burglar did the best job of channeling the other grandpa. I liked the horse's glamour shot coming out of the water. I liked that bluffing actually worked spectacularly well. What I didn't: I feel like maybe if you have a good life and responsibilities like kids and stuff, you should think long and hard about deliberately entering a broken, potentially fatal video game. I was expecting more from the glowing green water, it could really have been a source of many more jokes. I really feel like with the versatility of things that they had in the backpack they really could ...

What I liked: The house. Someone comments that the guy practically lives in a clue board, which appears to be true. There are an absurd number of rooms, all of which can conveniently eavesdrop on each other, and every piece of decor reminds you that this is the location of an absurd, over the top murder mystery. My personal favorite was the multitude of crystal skulls tucked into the background (eat your heart out Indian Jones), the ridiculous knife circle thing, and the creepy pictures. Nana. We don't know how old she is. We don't know how with it she is. But we do know she is amazing. The car chase. If you have read my other reviews you know that I am a sucker for a good car chase. I like them all from Fast and Furious parachuting out of a plane to the Italian Job mini coopers in the subway. This one had great elements and unexpected elements and I thought it was great, not least of all because I was decidedly unimpressed with James Bond's driving. That the main charact...

What I liked: I liked that we finally have an explanation for why all the main characters are impervious to bullets: super lightweight bullet proof clothing that conveniently looks like normal t shirts. And some mysterious genetic bioengineering on the bad guy. I also liked that all the bad guys loudly and spontaneously identified themselves as bad guys. In those exact words. I liked the smart repelling ropes that automatically attached to the bad guys jumping of the roof. I liked that the Rock went to his home and that we got an epic Haka and fire fight. I liked that the virus incubation time was exactly 48 hours and that the car mechanic was the only person in the world who could repair the virus removal machine. I'm glad that not only are the main characters safe from bullet wounds but they are also entirely unhurt by tumbling off a several hundred foot tall cliff into a rocky ravine. What I didn't: My main complaint about this movie is that someone added dialog. There is...

What I liked: I few years ago I had the great adventure of a cruise. The cruise line was targeted to people my grandmother's age, so every night somewhere on the ship was a Beatles tribute concert. I listened to a lot of Beatles music. Yesterday is not like being on a ship full of grandparents trying to remember the lyrics to the third verse of "In My Life." Instead we get some long shots of English cities as people hear Beatles' songs for the first time. It's charming. It's creative. And despite being the length of a Beatles tribute concert it is more engaging and more fun. I mostly liked how very normal all of the people were. The struggling musician living with his parents who wish he'd get a real job. Trying to put on a tiny concert for the neighbor but being constantly interrupted. Their moron friend and the weedy recording artist. It all felt just right. I must say never before in my life has a plastic submarine bath toy inspired more dread. Admitt...

What I liked: Alright, for a movie about a talking Pokemon who becomes a detective to solve a murder/missing person case/massive evil conspiracy, this was a surprisingly enjoyable movie. Not surprising as in "wow that is such an interesting elaborate conspiracy, I never saw it coming." More of a "wow, this absurd plot oddly works and I laughed at some of their jokes." For those of you who have forgotten since the days of elementary school, some Pokemon are pretty cute. Most are just kind of weird looking, but some of them are cute. Psyduck, for being a neurotic duck with explosive headaches, was surprisingly acceptable. Pikachu was pretty funny. The reporter girl was incredibly dramatic. I think both the main kid and the reporter girl should probably have been in high school instead of whatever productive member of society ruse they were pulling. I liked how they worked in the old Pokemon theme song. What I didn't: Given that the number of acceptable Pokemon...