Skip to main content

Hobbes and Shaw


What I liked: I liked that we finally have an explanation for why all the main characters are impervious to bullets: super lightweight bullet proof clothing that conveniently looks like normal t shirts. And some mysterious genetic bioengineering on the bad guy. I also liked that all the bad guys loudly and spontaneously identified themselves as bad guys. In those exact words. I liked the smart repelling ropes that automatically attached to the bad guys jumping of the roof. I liked that the Rock went to his home and that we got an epic Haka and fire fight. I liked that the virus incubation time was exactly 48 hours and that the car mechanic was the only person in the world who could repair the virus removal machine. I'm glad that not only are the main characters safe from bullet wounds but they are also entirely unhurt by tumbling off a several hundred foot tall cliff into a rocky ravine.

What I didn't: My main complaint about this movie is that someone added dialog. There is no statement that can justify a helicopter towing four semi trucks from a long chain held together by The Rock, so why not just let us enjoy the spectacle without the painful exposition? There is a massive fire fight between the 3 good guys and an army of bad guys in a secret warehouse. For some reason, even though everyone is bullet proof there is a whole lot of shooting. And when the good guys are making their get away they run through the crossfire. So if there are only 3 good guys and all 3 of them are weaving through the crossfire, who is on the other end of the crossfire? Are the bad guys shooting at each other just to spice things up? Are there other more sneaky good guys also attacking at the same time? I also feel like controlling the media is very different from controlling all the spy agencies, so just because the bad guys can frame public opinion should not rule out all the spies in the world coming after them, just seems like a good thing to do if bad guys are planning on destroying the world indiscriminately. Speaking of indiscriminately, the super virus is programmable to do just about anything: deliver vaccines, kill everyone, kill specific individuals, do genetic engineering, and it only goes where the bad guys want it to. I think if the bad guys were really planning ahead they would release the super virus as 4 different products each very expensive and make a giant fortune. As much as everyone loves swiss army knives it seems to me that as super weapons go the multi purpose approach might not be the best. "Igor did you release the virus to decimate the opposing army?" "Yes, of course. Oh wait, this multi functional virus just immunized them against West Nile Virus and made them bullet proof. Oh well let's try that again."Really most of the good parts were in the trailer so this could have been a delightful half hour long movie by removing all the dialog and scenes without explosions.

Who should watch this? People who watched the trailer and thought "there really aren't enough words in this and I wish this ridiculousness were diluted out over 2 hours"

Would I watch it again? No, I hoped it would be as incredible as number 7 but it was not.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Titanic

What I liked: Liked is definitely the wrong word for it but the scenes of the sinking of the Titanic were masterful. They were technologically impressive, apparently remarkably accurate, and emotionally gripping. The variety of ways in which different people dealt with a completely hopeless situation was both touching and thought provoking. Especially beautiful was the string quartet. In isolation from the love story, the sinking of the Titanic is a tragic reminder of the cost of hubris and the necessity of regulating emergency procedures and capacities. It carries similar gravitas as a war film. At the 25th anniversary of the film, I can appreciate how Titanic has impacted movies made later.  What I didn't: So here's the thing. I feel very bad for you if you died in the sinking of the Titanic. I feel less bad for you if you managed to get on a lifeboat on the Titanic and then decided to get off. I question all of your decision making and priorities if you decide to get off a...

Ready Player One Review

What I liked: I bet all of the developers loved making this film, I saw so many video game and movie references in the background of scenes. I bet all the developers just inserted their favorites like the ninja turtles, a whole platoon of halo soldiers, and orcs. That it was a video game made it possible and exciting to have all kinds of absolutely random physics and logic defying things happen. Obviously, I loved the T. Rex and who would not enjoy seeing Mechagodzilla or a cyborg orc driving a monster truck? Early in the movie they made good use of the video game architecture in a way that reminded me a bit of secret rooms in super mario. The characters visit the world of the Shining, which was amazing and hilarious. I loved the variety of characters, vehicles and weapons that we get to see and it is more fun (at least for me) that they draw from more than strictly the 1980's. I also really liked the music, for the most part the selections were great for the scenes. The book was...

Captain Phillips Review

What I liked: I liked the suspense, I liked the acting, I liked that I got to watch it. I liked that the captain was really good and took care of his crew. The pirates were terrifying but I also liked that the movie made them more than just scary, it worked for me more than the little bit of scene of the captain getting dropped off to go to the boat in the beginning. I thought they did a good job of conveying the Captain's shock at the end. I was glad when I looked up the main pirate actor and found that he was not actually as malnourished and terrifying as he looked in the movie. What I didn't: I am concerned about the boats fighting pirates with water cannons. I also am not sure what the crew's plan was if they caught up with the pirates' boat. The pirates weren't that clever, at the latest when the navy seals got on the radio the pirates should have known something was up. I didn't really care for the part where the Captain jumps in the water, it seemed very...