What I liked: I liked the rolly polly backpacks. I don’t really know that they had a purpose or would have been very good at whatever that purpose was, but they looked pretty cool. I liked the tiger lady’s afro. I liked that the main characters thought that effective disguises would be wearing cloaks with hoods. I mean can’t you even try the token haircut that all spies do? I like that despite the full blown war, oil spill, zombie apocalypse, lasers, and localized earthquake the subway system still seems to run with remarkable punctuality. I did really like that no one was fooled by Catnis’ terrible lying. “I have to tell you that I lied” “Yes we all know and have known the entire time” “really? I thought I was convincing.” “No, no you were not” I liked that some of the people that I was watching with were fooled by Catnis and the evil plots. Clearly they don’t watch enough spy movies.
What I didn’t: Before I get into the characters, plot, etc. a note on the filming. I have no idea who most of the characters were. They acted like I should remember them, I didn't. It's been a year since the last one and some of them are bald now. Even if I did know when they are all wet running from various bad things with fast cutting, I can't tell who just died. Also she never wore the outfit in this poster, what's up with that? As I may have mentioned in a previous review these different organizations have possibly the worst plans for running a war. I do have to admit that the Capital showed remarkable commitment to the cause. Most countries dedicate large amounts or resources to an active war but these resources usually go into fueling vehicles, building things, and outfitting the army. Not the Capital, no, the requisition what must be a full tanker of oil for the sole purpose of flooding a city block. Where did it come from? How was it stored? How did they pump it back out again? Clearly they devoted huge amounts of time, engineering, and raw materials to a completely useless scheme. The rest of their infrastructure was equally puzzling. Just one example: despite being set in an alternate future, the elaborate sewer system was designed like one from the 1800s with large walkable passages. This is 1) a huge waste of space 2) a waste of energy to build something larger than needed 3) a terrible plan for smell control. One of the comments about Jurassic World was you should never release velociraptors without a really good plan of how to get them back in their cage. I feel like this should apply to weird toothy zombies and like to think that this oversight led to a smooth transition from one postapocalyptic scenario to another. Don’t think the rebels had better plans. Any time your approach of choice is deploying a 16 year old with a bow and arrow instead of the football stadium sized arsenal you have been accumulating for 75 years, it is time to reevaluate your decision making paradigm. (note I am not advocating actually using a football stadium as a weapon, that was clearly a terrible plan when Magnito tried it). Also if your enemy is using their very cool and highly efficient subway system to rapidly transport soldiers across the city, your first order of business should probably be to either incapacitate said system or take control of it. There are many reasonable methods of government in the world; there are even unreasonable but acceptable methods of government. None of these involve a council of gladiators who haven’t actually died yet especially when there are actual official representatives with leadership experience. Not even Rome did that and they were the ones who invented gladiators. Finally, who decided that the best way to help someone overcome traumatic loss is to send them back to an empty house in a destroyed all alone? This makes no sense unless you are trying to prepare them for the imminent zombie apocalypse.
Who should watch this: Well it is the end of the series, so if you value the author’s opinion on what happens to the plot and characters you should watch it. If you are creative you can probably come up with something better.
Would I watch it again? No, it wasn’t even as much fun to shout at as the other ones.
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