Skip to main content

Jumanji Review

What I liked: Jumanji lent itself really well to updating. The video game format was great the whole thing seemed just as ridiculous as old nintendo games. Why do knives pop out of the floor? Why is there a whole field full of snakes? Why are the rhinos and hippos carnivorous? Why are the goons completely clueless? Why does the villain have a centipede living in his ear? No reason besides it's a video game. Also all of the other characters acted just like old video game characters, only delivering set lines over and over. Each of the main characters had special abilities and special weaknesses; every time either was activated it was quite funny. My favorites were the zoologists extensive knowledge of all the local animals, especially the inexplicably carnivorous ones, the smolder complete with dramatic music, a susceptibility to cake, and dance fighting. I also really liked the squirrels, the flirting lesson, and the way that shouting what the character needed to do worked great. I do that every time I play video games and it never works out quite as well. 

What I didn't: I'm sorely disappointed that there was no river level. What self respecting jungle game doesn't have a rafting adventure where you have to shoot rapids, dodge crocodiles, and navigate tight turns? They really should have used the bazaar more. You know, collect supplies, get healing potions, smash some jars, scare some chickens, upgrade weaponry. Characters should gain experience points and level up abilities, that would have been a useful addition to the flirting lessons and flying aspects. Also I feel like board games that mysteriously transform into video games should be treated with suspicion. And if you had the last name Freak, don't you think you would legally change it?

Who should watch this? Those looking for a lighthearted flick.

Would I watch it again? I'm glad I watched it, I probably won't rewatch it.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Titanic

What I liked: Liked is definitely the wrong word for it but the scenes of the sinking of the Titanic were masterful. They were technologically impressive, apparently remarkably accurate, and emotionally gripping. The variety of ways in which different people dealt with a completely hopeless situation was both touching and thought provoking. Especially beautiful was the string quartet. In isolation from the love story, the sinking of the Titanic is a tragic reminder of the cost of hubris and the necessity of regulating emergency procedures and capacities. It carries similar gravitas as a war film. At the 25th anniversary of the film, I can appreciate how Titanic has impacted movies made later.  What I didn't: So here's the thing. I feel very bad for you if you died in the sinking of the Titanic. I feel less bad for you if you managed to get on a lifeboat on the Titanic and then decided to get off. I question all of your decision making and priorities if you decide to get off a...

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them Reveiw

What I liked: For a movie based on what is in essence a fictional encyclopedia, this movie has a surprising amount of plot. Not great plot, but more than I usually get from reading an alphabetical reference book. I liked the dopey sidekick, his facial expressions were great and he was the only one who acknowledged that what happening on screen was not actually normal. I liked that the president led the tiny army of US wizards to their tiny battle in a subway. So as military victories go, this was not one for the history books, for many reasons. But it did lend more meaning to the phrase Commander in Chief. I felt like Dr Who was once again a bow tie wearing socially awkward guy who lives in a box that is bigger on the inside. Some of the creatures were cool but the CGI didn't quite make them alive. I liked the sloth monkey, I don't really know who it was or what it was doing but I would support a slothmonkey planet of the apes crossover. I like that the guy from SWAT has fina...

Clear and Present Danger Review

What I liked: it's the Jack Ryan character, he's pretty cool. That's really all this movie has going for it. Oh and the old school hacking. That was fun. What I didn't: it was boring. Boring boring. It took me three sessions to get through it. If I turn on a movie while folding laundry or grading, it has a good 30-45 minutes to get me interested enough to keep watching, that should be more than enough to get past the plot set up to the for stuff. If a film can't grab me in that time, there is a problem. Blah blah evil president, corrupt spies, bad guys. Been there, seen that done better. Also this is medium in Ryan's career, he is acting director of the CIA, should he really be running around asking under machine gun fire? I mean I like me some good explosions but maybe after all this time in  the CIA he would have meet at least one friend who is trustworthy and could come on adventures with him. If there is no other trustworthy decent agent in the CIA...