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Jurassic Park II Review

What I liked: I went in with low expectations, for some reason I was thinking this was direct to DVD grade. It far exceeded my expectations. There were dinosaurs. The mathematician was back and he is funny. I liked the bearded paleontologist. From my brief stint in paleontology this seemed fairly accurate. The music was not as magical as the music from the first film but it did a good job playing with the melodies and themes from that sound track. Those are probably the two best parts: dinosaurs and funny dialogue but it made for a fun evening.

What I didn't: As you can imagine everything about this movie is a bad plan. The mathematician sums it up the best with "worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas." Everything goes about as well as you expect it would if you were to airdrop a bunch of insane scientists on to an island inhabited with man eating dinosaurs and equipped with no fences. Especially if you were imagining this group running around and stealing baby dinosaurs. Also they are not clear on the buddy system, never ever use one of them as your designated buddy. I will give credit where it is due though: the engineering on that island was astounding. The radio with a tree growing out of it still worked perfectly and the building's structural integrity was barely compromised. And the group is remarkably fit. The token child on this expedition is apparently an Olympic gymnast who can muster enough force to overturn a raptor and the scientists can easily run a 5k carrying a likely 100lb dinosaur. I was not convinced that a T-Rex could do that kind of damage on the boat without breaking walls. Either the T-Rex as equipped with an Antman suit so he could change sizes to fit through doorways or there were velociraptors involved.  I do feel like the coast guard and border patrol were both majorly slacking in their responsibilities. As with all Jurassic Park movies I am left wondering why, when there are very large very incapacitated delicious dinosaurs, do the carnivores decide to chase the small not delicious not incapacitated people. It would be kind of like digging a brussel sprout out from under the couch when there are doughnuts sitting on the table.

Who should watch this? People who love dinosaurs and mayhem.

Would I watch it again? Sure. Not before the real Jurassic Park but certainly before the new Jurassic Park.
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