Skip to main content

Jason Bourne Review

What I liked: Let's get this out of the way first. If for some reason I cannot obtain the batmobile I want to drive Jason Bourne's car. Or maybe I want his car for daytime driving and save the batmobile for evenings and special occasions. If the car is too expensive I will settle for just the tires which seem to be pretty much everything proof. No, he didn't drive backwards off a building this time but he did have enough serious collisions to more than compensate. The sedan fared quite well considering it was going up against a tank. I really appreciated that all the hacker commands were readily intelligible and consisted of a single line "decrypt files, remove firewall, authorize my fake passport." If you thought Jack Ryan's hacking was good in shadow recruit (he hacked a very secure computer using an electrical outlet), you will be terrified to know the secure computer could be hacked using a cell phone in the same building. Wires are for wimps. Take that Ethan Hunt with your cool repelling routine, you should have just dangled a cell phone through the air vent. I think Bourne needs a new hobby. He is moonlighting as a prize fighter who drops his opponent with a single punch. As far as I can tell, when he is bored he stands around and lets them beat on him for a while. I mean take up cross stitch or something. Join the circus! He could have a really good disappearing act. His boxing escapades did spark an idea for a Rocky Bourne crossover film though. I liked that while Bourne can accurately predict the location of a sniper and the number of bad guys chasing him, he is unable to predict fairly obvious plot devices. I am glad to find something that I can do better than Jason Bourne but do wonder if he ever watched spy movies. Next time I'm an assassin recovering from amnesia, I think my first move will be to have a spy movie marathon. That way I will be able to anticipate the evil intelligence agency, the sneak attacks, the bad guys with a grudge from my past, and the fact that there are in the world n+1 spies of note where n=the number of countries involved and 1 is me.

What I didn't: The first three Bourne movies had phenomenal choreography and helped things feel intense with tight shots and some shakiness. This entire film was tight shots and shaky and intentionally out of focus, even for things that didn't need to feel particularly stressful. I spent a lot of time shouting in my head "AAAA too close! Too close!" and expecting to smack into the actors. I usually don't mind some intense shaky camera action but there was enough in this film to give me a headache and make me feel kind of sick. The shake and lack of focus was particularly annoying when there were words to be reading. All of this might be better on a TV; maybe the big screen just accentuated it. I do feel like at some point one of the interview questions for the head of the CIA should be "are you evil?" I think it would save everyone a lot of time since as far as I know, with the exception of when Jack Ryan ran the CIA, there has never been a non evil head of the CIA in a movie. If one insists on hiring an evil CIA director, The director of the NSA should at least be competent. I am under the impression that this one had had his brain replaced with mashed potatoes. Clearly nothing could go wrong with having your final showdown in a convention full of spy gear. This was both a terrible plan and disappointingly under utilized by the master spies roaming the building. Also for future reference it is a bad idea to try and whack an assassin over the head if you are not an assassin. It is probably a bad idea if you are an assassin too, maybe they tell you these things in assassin school.

Who should watch this? People who love Bourne movies

Would I watch it again? good to see once, if the shaking is better on a small screen I might watch it again.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Titanic

What I liked: Liked is definitely the wrong word for it but the scenes of the sinking of the Titanic were masterful. They were technologically impressive, apparently remarkably accurate, and emotionally gripping. The variety of ways in which different people dealt with a completely hopeless situation was both touching and thought provoking. Especially beautiful was the string quartet. In isolation from the love story, the sinking of the Titanic is a tragic reminder of the cost of hubris and the necessity of regulating emergency procedures and capacities. It carries similar gravitas as a war film. At the 25th anniversary of the film, I can appreciate how Titanic has impacted movies made later.  What I didn't: So here's the thing. I feel very bad for you if you died in the sinking of the Titanic. I feel less bad for you if you managed to get on a lifeboat on the Titanic and then decided to get off. I question all of your decision making and priorities if you decide to get off a...
Post a Comment
Read more

Annihilation

  What I liked: I liked the crystal trees and the creepy people plants. The multi colored lichen and flowers were cool too. I liked how disorienting the loss of time and flashbacks were, they did a good job of maintaining the disquiet and suspense. I liked that they remembered that mutation and evolution has no goal, it's just a thing that happens with all kinds of side effects. I liked their little boat trip in giant crocodile infested swamp. I'm not sure if I loved the silver skin suit but I can't deny that it was interesting.  What I didn't: The heroes are all scientists who go on a mission to find out what is going on inside the "shimmer". For being all scientists they don't draw very well on their test one variable at a time training. If nothing has ever come out of the shimmer, try sticking a stick in and see if you can pull it out. Step inside with a harness on so if you don't come back they can try and pull you back. Walk in a little ways and t...
Post a Comment
Read more

Vengeance

What I liked: The premise is absurd. A complete dumpster fire of a person from New York teams up with a Texan red neck to avenge the death of the sister. ... by making a podcast. If that approach to revenge is not the most terrible revenge plan I'm not sure what is. Oh wait, it's Dracula kidnapping a historian to catalog his personal book collection, but that is off topic. Along they way the character gets wildly out of his depth and does things that are definitely bad plans. Like meet with a cartel leader alone in a shed, drive a Prius, visit a music producer, more than once, and give an off the cuff eulogy. Certainly at the beginning it carries the awkward discomfort of The Office but it quickly expands to explosions and the conviction to a podcast found only among the certain portion of the coffee shop population. I thought they did a good job of picking fun at both the rural Texans and the big city New Yorkers. I think they really nailed the "intellectual" bros in...
Post a Comment
Read more