Tarzan Review

What I liked: I should start this review with the admission that there was a really long line at the drive in so I missed about the first 40 minutes of the movie. It is entirely possible that the plot made more sense than I thought or that the characters actually did know each other before deciding to bop out into the jungle and jump off cliffs together. I kind of like the thought that maybe they didn't. They were just cruising along through the Congo Jungle, Heart of Darkness style, and decided it was the perfect opportunity for some very intense off roading. It is also possible that in the first 40 minutes they all took an animal training and wilderness survival course together. I like to think that they were all just born with the innate ability to battle gorillas, out swim crocodiles and hippos, run with stampeding gnu's, and suture wounds using army ants. That being the case they should probably shoot for their own show on cable, possibly join a special ops team. One thing was clearly not covered by their innate instinct or survival crash course: insect borne tropical diseases. They were fully equipped with mosquito netting, which instead of using as a mosquito deterrent, they used as aesthetic room decor. I think that is probably one of the things on the warning labels when you buy bolts of mosquito netting "only effective against mosquitoes when used to separate oneself from mosquitoes." I liked that Jane was spunky, though she came across a lot like Elizabeth from Pirates of the Caribbean. I liked Tarzan's friend, he made excellent comments about things like jumping off cliffs, running the plains, and fighting gorillas. The animal animation was really good I particularly liked the gorillas and the hippo. I was liked that they tried to update the plot some, it wasn't just about Tarzan finding out that he isn't a gorilla (spoiler) but expands to comment on European imperialism in Africa, specifically the exploitation by Belgium's King Leopold II. I'm not entirely clear on the specifics but it seemed to involve slave labor and a railroad. And somehow Tarzan was the only one to defend the gorillas, not sure why the gorillas were in danger. Probably my favorite part was that during multiple scenes I was reminded of some excellent literary criticism by Mark Twain on Deer Slayer. If you take a short perusal (literary offenses of James Fenimoore Cooper) you might see the connections, if not you will hopefully at least chuckle at Twain's delightful wit.

What I didn't: The whole film reminded me of Heart of Darkness, which I didn't not love when I read it in high school. And, for all the overt commentary on the deplorable exploitation of the people and resources of the Congo basin, it felt strikingly like a poster piece from my colonial literature course in college with it's presentation of the mysterious and exotic. According to the film, the Congo is a fantastical, magical place that one must be transformed to enter and experience. I know that sounds very much like the beginning of an analysis essay but at least it is evidence that I got something out of college. I guess my point is simply that the film was inconsistent in the overt and implied messages it presented. In a less serious vein, how many times can one dislocate one's shoulder and still swing through the jungle on vines? The answer is apparently a much hight number than the 0 that I would have guessed. But superhuman rotator cuffs is not Tarzan's only ability. Apparently he has super strong neck muscles (not used for swinging through the jungle on vines) and the ability to talk to all the animals and rally them to his cause. And he can swan dive like Pocohauntus. Into not water. Yep. And he is explosion resistant. But don't worry Tarzan is not the only endowed with super powers, all of his good guy friends have similar abilities, like dodging bullets from a minigun. Even the animals are super strong and unperturbed by things like buildings or suddenly finding themselves in the ocean. But don't worry, they know friend from foe: the crocodiles will eat the bad guys, chase Jane, and leave Tarzan alone. These are crocodiles with very discriminating taste. But maybe in the first 40 minutes they explain that one of the terrible things planned by King Leopold was genetic manipulation of the local fauna, causing them to develop super powers. I guess that means that we have the Belgians to blame for Gorilla Grodd.

Who should watch this? Anyone looking for a live action adaptation of a Disney film. If you liked Maleficent, you will probably like this.

Would I watch it again? Probably not, but if I did, I would probably start at the beginning.