Terrible Plan! Movie Reviews

What I liked: A while ago I was on a Hitchcock kick. I accidentally ended up watching the Christopher Reeves Rear Window instead of the Hitchcock one. I decided to try to watch the Hitchcock one again, but again had trouble finding it but I did find the 2007 remake, Disturbia.  It was more exciting than the Christopher Reeves version because the chase scenes were slightly more mobile. That said the Christopher Reeves version was more suspenseful because you knew if he ever got caught he didn't have a fighting chance. I liked that this one used more updated tech and I liked the main police officer. What I didn't: This was not the Hitchcock film, strike 2 for me. Having seen two versions of this story, I am convinced that there is no way to make the premise of constantly spying on your neighbors and recording their movements not creepy. The film starts out as a teeny bopper flick. All of the characters act with all the expected exaggerated stupidity you usually find in this g...

What I liked: This was a beautiful movie. Every frame is an oil painting in the style of Vincent Van Gogh. It took the team 9 years to complete. As a visual the film is a masterpiece. It even managed to include a few jokes. I really liked that most of the characters were people who Van Gogh painted portraits of. It was fun to see the portrait along side the stills from the movie. What I didn't: Some of the frames were very busy with brush strokes making the whole image looked like it was crawling. The plot is centered around the mystery of Van Gogh's death: was he murdered or did he commit suicide? The whole thing follows one character as he goes around interviewing people who knew Van Gogh or spent time with him in the last few weeks of his life. While informative, this is never the most exciting plot arc. Who should watch this? People wanting to see a unique movie and enjoy some beautiful animation. Would I watch it again? I'm very glad I saw it and it was worth i...

What I liked: There's a leek in the boat! Fishing pickles. The dad's mustache. The little strawberry is really cute. Really most of the food was quite cute. I liked when they collect all their old friends to launch the mission to stop the evil food. They all had absurd jobs and ridiculous ways of quitting. What I didn't: Why does the bad guy have no joints? He is like one giant noodle, all floppy floppy, and he isn't even anthropomorphic food. Clearly the bad guy's evil plan was terribly conceived but with a plot centered around a machine that converts water into giant food, you can't really hope for too much. The evil plan that was much better developed and received much less attention in the movie struck a little close to home. The evil inventing company preys on young optimistic inventors luring them to work terrible hours for no credit on the hopes of one day joining the elite group of "real" inventors. It gives you the shivers. Who should watc...

What I liked: Jumanji lent itself really well to updating. The video game format was great the whole thing seemed just as ridiculous as old nintendo games. Why do knives pop out of the floor? Why is there a whole field full of snakes? Why are the rhinos and hippos carnivorous? Why are the goons completely clueless? Why does the villain have a centipede living in his ear? No reason besides it's a video game. Also all of the other characters acted just like old video game characters, only delivering set lines over and over. Each of the main characters had special abilities and special weaknesses; every time either was activated it was quite funny. My favorites were the zoologists extensive knowledge of all the local animals, especially the inexplicably carnivorous ones, the smolder complete with dramatic music, a susceptibility to cake, and dance fighting. I also really liked the squirrels, the flirting lesson, and the way that shouting what the character needed to do worked great. I...

What I liked: The minions. The pigs. It was a good combination.  I think they could have done more with the pig minion team up, there was a waiting wealth of comic opportunity there. I particularly liked the minions' performance for the tv show. I am however left wondering where they got their props. The gadgets as always. Why carry a normal gun when you could use a fully loaded keytar? Why drive a normal villain car when you can drive a gilded villain car. Why take over the world like a normal person whey you can cover it with bubble gum you shoot from a bazooka? What I didn't: They really should have done more with the fluffy unicorn direction. It seemed like it should have been the culmination of the whole unicorn obsession of all 3 films, sadly it was just an aside. As always the plan was terrible. A secret lair in a giant Rubik's cube is not very secret. Exactly following the plot of a children's TV show is not the best approach to world domination, especially ...

What I liked: I loved loved the impromptu chemistry lesson on the cinder block wall. I liked that the list of demands was entirely composed of Game of Thrones books and that they had to consult The Wikipedia. I'm glad that Kylo Ren looks normal sometimes. It is a sad commentary if you look better as a washed up hilly billy bar tender. His prosthetic arm was an important character in the movie and I  am glad that it got it's own story arc and character development finally becoming a cool black stealth hand. The checklist of how to pull off a massive heist was surprisingly good. I read it and thought, oh dear, this is going to be a train wreck. Then I watched the rest of the movie and there were no trains. The lack of trains on the heist checklist should have tipped me off. The prison escape was great. Like any prison break it took extensive planning and coordination, but it had just the right West Virginia twist. on that note I like that we now have a view into another side of h...

What I liked: Inspector Poirot was very fun. I'm always a fan of Kenneth Branagh but usually I don't get to see him in what I would characterize as a comic role. I like stunning scenery. I like absurd mysteries with crazy elaborate plots that materialize out of nowhere. I love the Inspector's mustache cover. I like that the whole train only has 6 cars including the engine, this may not be the most effective money making venture. I liked how much Poirot liked Dickens. I liked that the train got derailed on a really tall trussel bridge which withstands that impact only to sustain significant damage during a fist fight. I like how incredibly dramatic the whole thing was. I  like that there are as far as I can tell no limits on Poirot's jurisdiction. What I didn't: I am concerned that Poirot did not consider the possibility that he was drugged. Early evidence in the film indicates that he is a light sleeper and as he says he would not be likely to sleep through some...